![]() ![]() “When you avoid saying the words ‘I’ or ‘me,’ it makes your negative feelings less strong, and as you play it out, you give yourself advice the way you would to a friend,” Moser said. If your child says, “I’m really dumb, and everyone is wondering why I can’t solve the problem,’ have them try saying, “Sally is feeling really dumb, and everyone is confused about why she can’t do this problem.” The child can then ask, “Why is Sally feeling dumb?” The strategy helped his daughter because “your brain processes it as if you were talking about someone else,” he said. Referencing yourself in the second or third person is a powerful way to get a different perspective on your own thoughts and feelings, Moser said. ![]() “Whether a middle schooler is socially awkward or struggles with body image or an aspect of their identity, they’re looking to their parents for reassurance, validation and acceptance,” said Erlanger Turner, an associate professor of psychology at Pepperdine University in Los Angeles.īeyond offering unconditional love, which every child needs to feel secure, parents can do practical things to shore up a tween’s self-image. The good news is you can help your child acquire super security. That sort of social risk-taking is particularly important today “when we’re experiencing an epidemic of loneliness layered on top of societal instability,” noted educational psychologist Michele Borba, author of “ Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine.”Īs researchers reported in a 2022 meta-analysis in The BMJ, rates of loneliness among teens between ages 12 and 17 range from 9.2% to 14.4%, depending on the geographic region. How we can protect our kids’ mental health this summer When middle schoolers tune out unhelpful external messages and soften their own self-criticism, they recover faster from setbacks and are more willing to take smart risks, such as extending invitations to potential new friends. ![]() It’s not easy for middle schoolers to counteract unrealistic expectations they absorb from peers, family members, the culture and themselves, which is why I devote a chapter in my new book, “ Middle School Superpowers: Raising Resilient Tweens in Turbulent Times,” to acquiring “super security,” the power to develop a healthy self-identity. It’s a strategy she learned from her father, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Michigan State University, who researches how talking to yourself as if you were someone else can help you feel calmer.Īfter that gymnastics meet, “she told me, ‘Dad, you know that third-person self-talk thing? … It really helped,’” Moser recalled. After a disappointing routine during a gymnastics meet, Jason Moser’s daughter was full of self-doubt, so the 12-year-old tried silently encouraging herself using her own first name. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |